6/23/10 02:11 am
I was angry / tired and ended up taking 8 migraine relief pills (250mg acetaminophen, 250mg aspirin, 65mg caffeine each.) I don't usually overdose that much (rarely ever got past 5 in one sitting,) especially with a combined tablet, so I made sure to call poison control and they said I should be alright. I let Adam know but he got worried, told me mum, and then she made me check myself into the ER. It was in a way a complete waste of time, because I didn't really get to sleep much, and someone else who was in a far worse condition could have been admitted instead. I was completely fine, I felt fine, everything was fine. But I still had to stay there ALL night/morning with an IV in my arm and wasn't discharged until around 2pm. I was still angry of course, but later I felt sorry because he was at my side (sort of, I wouldn't allow him in my room) without rest the entire time just to make sure I'd be okay. earlier that night I shunned him away and returned all his things, but after I was discharged and returned home I knew that I was wrong. I even warned him a few days prior that my mood may change, I am uncontrollable but at least I can tell when it will happen. this time, however, I went overboard and took more pills every time the pain would hit. I did stop though, at 8, because I've never taken this painkiller before, I'm usually prone to overdosing on ibuprofen, and I guess I was concerned myself. anyway, after I returned home, I ended up taking off on the bus to apologize to him. he kept saying that I shouldn't have to say sorry, but I still feel sorry because I know what it feels like to be shoved out and I don't wish him to suffer through that. perhaps I am too compassionate for my own good, but I still care and I still love him. I have a psych evaluation tomorrow afternoon, it's about time I go. I always need that extra push, so I guess this was it. I don't think this event was really that serious, at least not like the worst time I've overdosed which sent me to the intensive care and a three day hospital stay. I still feel angry, and in all honesty I wish that I would have taken more pills and just died and gotten it over with (even though it wasn't really my intention, but I don't think it would have mattered anyway), ....at least I have a psych evaluation tomorrow. I have a little bit of hope in me left. but just a sliver.